Apart from abstinence, using condoms is the best way to reduce the possibility of transmission of a sexually transmitted disease including HIV infection.
It's sometimes difficult to think on the spot about how you can respond to resistant, defensive, or manipulative comments made by a partner to try to get you not to use condoms sense.
So here are some ideas you can think about beforehand:
|If your partner says:||You can say:|
|I'm on the pill, we don't need a condom.||I'd like to use it anyway. We'll both be protected from infections we may not realize we have.|
|I know I'm clean; I haven't had sex with anyone in X months.||Thanks for telling me. I'm disease-free too. But I'd still like to use a condom since either of us could have an infection and not know it.|
|I'm a virgin.||I'm not. This way we'll both be protected.|
|I can't feel a thing when I use a condom. It's like wearing a raincoat in a shower.||Even if you lose some sensation, you'll have plenty left.|
|I'll lose my erection by the time I stop and put it on.||I'll help you put it on. That'll help you keep it.|
|By the time I put it on, I'm out of the mood.||Maybe so, but we feel strongly enough for each other to stay in the mood.|
|It destroys the romantic atmosphere.||It doesn't have to be that way.|
|Condoms are unnatural and fake - a total turnoff.||Please let's try to work this out - an infection isn't so great either. So let's give the condom a try. Or maybe we can look for alternatives to intercourse.|
|What kinds of alternatives?||Maybe we could just pet, and postpone sex for a while. We could try manual stimulation too.|
|This is an insult! Do you think I'm some kind of disease-ridden slut/gigolo?||I didn't say or imply that; but in my opinion, it's best to use a condom.|
|None of my other boyfriends uses a condom. A real man isn't afraid.||Please don't compare me to them.. A real man cares about the woman he dates, himself, and their relationship.|
|I love you. Would I give you an infection?||Not intentionally. But many people don't know they're infected. That is why it is best for both of us right now.|
|Come on, just this once without?||Once is all it takes.|
|I don't have a condom with me.||I do. or Then let's satisfy each other without intercourse.|
|You carry a condom around with you? You were just trying to seduce me.||I always carry one with me because I care about myself and my partner. I have one with me because I care about us.|
|I won't have sex with you if you're going to insist on using a condom.||So let's put it off until we can agree. I won't have sex without one.|
|I won't feel as much if I have a condom on.||You won't feel anything if you don't.|
|I don't have any condoms and we don't want to stop this excitement.||I have condoms - which kind do you like?|
|It will interrupt sex.||Let me put it on for you. It can be part of foreplay, and we can make it fun.|
Knowledge is power:
Remember and practice ways of talking about condom use. Use condom sense!
Men: Remember that you're also protecting yourself against diseases that may be inside the vagina and have no visible signs.
Women: Remember that sexually transmitted diseases do not always have visible signs.
Embarrassment: Often may occur before, during, or after sex. Learn to talk, laugh, and exchange ideas and feelings with your partner. Communication is the key.
Professional Help: You can talk about your concerns about condoms or sexual activity or communication problems at the University Health Service, the Counseling Center, Hospital Clinics, and private medical services. Confidentiality and privacy are always maintained at these services.
Resources: Your school or local library will have current books and journals. Information about condoms can usually be found under headings like 'contraceptives' or 'sexually transmitted diseases.
But I'm on the pill. Why do we need condoms?: Sexually transmitted diseases may not have any symptoms in the male or female. They are easily transmitted during sexual intercourse and are very prevalent in the 18-30 year old population. The pill is used to prevent pregnancy - it does not protect against transmission of a disease.
Use of condoms: Always store them in a cool, dry place. Always check the expiration date. Use latex condoms. Always use them properly - info is available at Health Services and Counseling.
RipnRoll condom store, seen on...