you're not sure how to use a condom
correctly or even if you think you
know how to, keep reading, you will
First of all everyone should
know by now that you shouldn't
keep your condoms in a hot glove box or in your wallet, condoms
do not like heat, as a matter of
fact they hate heat! Check the
condoms expiration date, as a
safeguard you should never use condoms past the expiration date.
Most condoms have a five year
shelf life from the date of
manufacture. Condoms with spermicide
usually only have a 3 year shelf
life. Try not to use your teeth
to open the wrapper and don't
use scissors either you
you're using a Latex condom, don't
ever use oil based lubrication such as skin lotions, baby oil,
Vaseline or cold cream
- the oil in
these products weakens the Latex and will cause the condom
to break. Always use water based,
silicone or latex compatible lubricants
with Latex condoms. If you must use oil based lubricants use
condoms, these are safe to use with oil based lubes.
you are in the heat of battle
and think you are ready then the time
has come to cover your Captain (Captains at full attention and ready for battle).
"RIP" open your favorite condoms
package, being careful not to use your teeth, place a few drops of your favorite water based lubricant inside the tip of the
condom, this will greatly
decrease the chances of the
condom breaking and will also
add more sensation.
Never let your Captain touch your partner before he is securely
sure your condom is upright to roll, condoms roll on
much better this way.. DUH!
you put on the condom, hold the condom by the tip to squeeze out any air. Leave some space
at the tip to hold any and all fluids and "ROLL" the rest down to your
your Captain is intact (has a foreskin), put the condom on with the foreskin pushed back.
After you have Rolled and are covered, push the foreskin forward (toward the tip). This
lets the foreskin move without breaking the condom.
but recommended) Place more water based lubricant on the outside of the condom. Remember,
"Wetter is Better".
any time during battle (intercourse) your Captain is ambushed (the condom breaks or comes off), stop
immediately and pull out. Wash your Captain and put on a new condom.
your Captain has won his battle (after intercourse), you should hold the condom at the
base and pull out slowly. This should be done while your Captain is still at attention.
away the used condom in the trash, not the toilet. If you
choose the toilet they will come back to haunt you some day. Trust me, the last thing you
want plugging your plumbing is used
condoms your plumber will thank you
re-use condoms ( recycled
rubbers? ) even if you like to recycle or are one of
them "green people" use a new condom every time you have
contact, they are not that expensive...really!
to sum it all up in the Rip n Roll vernacular....
Grip-it, Roll-it and Dip-It
n Roll Baby!
that's how to use a condom.