"As you know, I am a model and I frequently travel. Well, three summers ago, while
shooting in Paris, I met the most wonderful man, his name was Stephen. He had the most
beautiful smile and the most beautiful green eyes I have ever known. He was 26 and I was
18 at the time we met. I couldn't help but spend every free moment with Stephen, I was so
in love. As the summer turned to fall, we both knew I would be traveling back to the
states soon, we counted the days we had left together. I have never met a man that was so
kind, so caring, so compassionate. Stephen looked into my eyes and everything in the world
was good. He was everything I ever dreamed of wanting in a man."
"I kissed Stephen
goodbye at the airport; we couldn't stop crying. We could only tell each other that we
would meet again soon, but we both knew different. We kissed for what seemed an eternity
and then he was gone. As I flew back to America, I could still smell his cologne, I could
still feel his embrace. His beautiful eyes were still fresh in my memory. I wondered if I
had made the right choice in following my career rather than my heart. I wondered if
I would ever see Stephen again."
"For three years, a day didn't pass that I didn't think of Stephen. He was my
motivation on exhausting days and my fantasy on lonely nights. Every man I met, I compared
to Stephen. No man stood a chance with me. My friends said I was hurting myself by not
letting go, but I felt so alive, so loved when I thought of Stephen. How could I ever let
go of something that felt this way, something that felt this good? I was still in love and
nothing could change that. I knew we would meet again. One day, I knew we would be
together."
"Last spring I traveled back to Paris. I did see Stephen again, and we held
each other close as we did that wonderful summer. Stephen looked into my eyes searching
for forgiveness as if to say he was sorry. I just cried and held him tighter. He smiled
and his beautiful green eyes looked at me one last time as he died in my arms. I will
never forget the sorrow and sadness I felt as he slowly let go. I will never forget the
date Stephen passed away, for it was the day my heart died and it was my 21st
birthday."
"I am sure now that Stephen never stopped loving me, I was the last girl he was ever
with. Stephen and I made love three years ago in the summer of '94, the day I was to
return to America. He was the first and last man I ever made love to. We only made love
once, but it was truly love. Stephen told me not to worry and I believed him. How could I
not believe those big beautiful eyes and that perfect smile. He was so thoughtful and
honest, why would I need to use a condom with someone so perfect? He was such a strong
man.
"Stephen weighed 195 pounds of solid muscle when I met him. He only weighed 98 pounds
the day he died of AIDS. I am HIV positive and spending roughly $30,000 a year in medicine
to stay alive as long as I can. I was with one man, one time, without one
condom, and I will pay for that the rest of my short life."
"So now you see
Bill why I'm so upset. One fifty cent condom could and would have saved my life."
- April
Is the
cost of a condom too much to pay for peace of mind. Is fifty cents to much to pay for a
condom? Ask the HIV positive man who spends $50,000 a year just to stay alive. Ask him if
he would buy a condom if he could do it all over again.